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8 tips to celebrate Valentine’s Day while battling with infertility

Sunday, February 14th, 2021

Valentine's day is associated with passionate love and romance, Valentine’s Day often sparks stress in couples who are trying to conceive or seeking fertility help. Couples undergoing fertility treatment often wonder, how can I feel romantic this Valentine’s Day if we’re up to our ears in ovulation kits, fertility meds etc?

No matter where you are in your infertility journey, there are ways to enjoy Valentine’s Day. 

Here are 8 tips to help make Valentine’s Day a little more loveable while helping you have a stress-less day and strengthening your relationship.

1-Take a Break from the Fertility Discussion: Make a pact with your partner to not discuss infertility treatment during your Valentine’s Day date. There’s plenty of time for that later. Taking time to focus on your role as a partner and not as a future parent can help you both relax. On Valentine’s Day, shift the topics to things about each other, what attracted you to one another, and what you appreciate about your partner.

2- Communicate with your partner:  Each person may be experiencing or coping with infertility in a different way. Besides being candid and supportive, rekindle romance by reminding your partner that you find them attractive. Compliments are always appreciated – think of how you feel when you receive one and be sure to reciprocate. You can share your feelings out loud or through your gestures – try leaving love notes for each other. It may seem a small thing to do, but it is likely to have a big impact.

3- Smile and Enjoy It: You may not feel quite up to that if you are stressed about conceiving. You may be feeling moody from fertility drugs you are taking to help you conceive, or waiting to see if your recent IVF treatment was successful. Your best bet is to relax this Valentine’s Day and celebrate with your partner to forget your worries. Sharing a romantic dinner for two and exchanging gifts are a lovely way to celebrate.

4- Go On a Date: Going on a date is a perfect way to remind yourselves of why you fell in love. Consider returning to the place where you first met and have your special date there. This will bring back pleasant memories. When choosing the location of your date, try to keep your partner’s feelings in mind. Try to avoid any places that may be distressing, like restaurants with young children.

5- Take care of yourself: Treat yourself to a little pampering. What do you love? Book a massage, go to a yoga class, read a good book or go see a movie. Look back to things you enjoyed doing when you first started dating. The experience just may rejuvenate you.

6- Pretend that Cupid’s arrow is the syringe: For those of you going through infertility treatment, let Valentine’s Day be a helpful reminder that beneath all the injections, ultrasound scans, office visits, and blood work, there is an “us” that can be so easily overlooked. The best gift you can give each other is support.

7- Remember to practice gratitude and share your love with others: Even though you don’t have a baby yet, focus on the things you’re thankful for right now, you can find more things to love about the life you have.  And you should spend time focusing on bringing joy to your partner, but don’t stop there. Taking the time to share your love with others so you can do this by volunteering your time at local nonprofits or giving away gifts. 

8- Stop comparing to other couples: Put down the smartphone, and step away from social media pages. If you think everyone else is having a sexier, more romantic evening than you are, you’re wrong. Remember that people present idealized versions of themselves on social media.

These simple Valentine’s Day tips for couples seeking fertility help through treatment can help you celebrate this Valentine with cheerfulness and candor.