How to deal with the festive season after a miscarriage?
Sunday, December 19, 2021
We know that facing the festive season can sometimes be a struggle for those who have been through pregnancy loss. The holidays are a joyful time, but it can be a really difficult time for many couples who have suffered a miscarriage or delivered a stillborn baby. Families cannot and do not need to pretend that everything is OK because, for them, it isn’t.
If you’re struggling with the holiday season after a recent miscarriage or other pregnancy loss, you’re not alone. Times of celebration often magnify feelings of grief and trauma, leaving many people who’ve lost a baby with little holiday cheer, particularly if the loss was recent. You might feel reluctant to attend gatherings, not wanting to face pregnant relatives or friends with new babies.
To make festive season celebrations easier while you are grieving, try the following tips to help you cope.
Don’t feel If You Enjoy Yourself
Remember that just as it’s OK to not be in the holiday spirit, it is also OK to smile and actually have fun. It doesn’t mean that you’re not mindful of the baby you lost. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying activities that take your mind off things. Know that it’s not a betrayal to your baby and doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten if you do decide to escape your pain for a few hours of celebration. In fact, celebrating with your loved ones while keeping your baby in your heart can be a loving way to honor what was lost. Consider being around friends or family might help take your mind off things for a little while or possibly help you feel better by remembering the good in your life.
Share Your Feelings with Family
Remember that a miscarriage is a loss, and it’s OK to mourn this loss with family and friends. People can support you best if they know what you need. Remember that people who have never experienced a pregnancy loss may not know what you’re going through, but they are likely to be supportive if you share your feelings.
Don’t feel pressured to celebrate
Some couples who have suffered a loss may choose to not even acknowledge the festive season of the first year. They may choose to do something special to honor their baby instead, which can help to solidify some special memories as a family unit.
If you are invited to a party where you know you will face more holiday stress than enjoyment, consider declining and sending your best wishes instead.
Limit your exposure to triggers
You can predict tough situations so try to plan ahead. You do not have to open every holiday card. Limit temporarily seeing the stories for the holiday season on social media or take a complete social media break for a little while. Limit time at social gatherings you need to go to but know will be tough (arrive late and leave early). Do your holiday shopping at off hours with fewer crowds and fewer kids or at home and online. Stay connected with people through the holidays but try to limit exposure to tough reminders in a season full of them.
Give yourself the care, space, and support you need to heal on your own terms. Surround yourself with people that lift you up. Make time for people that are a positive influence on you and don’t feel obligated to spend time with people that leave you feeling negative or down. Consider finding online or in-person support groups or counseling. Ask for help from your faith community, and/or say a special holiday prayer for your baby. If you have any worries that you might be clinically depressed, seek help from your doctor for advice and treatment.
Do a Good Deed
Many people find that doing a good deed during the holiday season brings some comfort. Some like to participate in charity efforts to buy holiday gifts for children in less fortunate families. Others like to volunteer at nursing homes. Doing something to help others in your own time of need gives you agency in easing someone else’s pain, which in turn can help ease yours.
Fakih IVF has helped many couples suffering from recurrent miscarriages carry a full-term pregnancy. For more information and appointments call 80032544 or visit https://fakihivf.com/book-an-appointment/